My mother died on Sunday, December 19, 2021. Our relationship was very complicated. I imagined my first painting about her would be dark and possibly angry, but instead I appliquéd the back side of a piece of my colorful monoprinted construction fence fabric on the back side of an embroidery I found at her house when I emptied and sold it a little more than 3 years ago or so, when she moved into assisted living.

I don’t know if my mother made the embroidery or if someone else did. All I know is that it was in her house and it was well used judging from the stains that are mostly covered up by the appliqué.

I love the beauty of hand embroidery and the knots that hold it together. I chose to use the back side with the knots and ends of thread as the front because what we often see in a person (or an organization for that matter), is what they choose to present to the world, and is not necessarily what is going on behind the scenes. The construction fence fabric I monoprinted represents the boundaries in our relationship.

When she was buried, I dropped a small piece of the same monopronted fabric on top of her grave as well as a handful of dirt, similar to when we buried mommom, my mother’s mom, but then it was a very small art quilt I made about and for mommom.